Three Songs of Ice, Fire and Jawbreakers (Ed, Edd n Eddy)
by gameboy5432
Summary: The Edds wind up in Westeros. That is all!
1. Chapter 1

The History of the Age of the Three Titans.

by Maester Ludwin.

312 A.C.

In my long years both as a simple man, an apprentice and a full fledge maestar to the Starks I have seen many great things, some wonderful, some terrible depending on who you ask.

The most remarkable of all was during the arrival of three most extraordinary individuals to our world.

The had no recollection of how they got here and where just as surprised as we where when they returned to their domain, but their impact on our society was truly astonishing.

I am speaking of course of the three Titans.

They came a few years before Robert's Rebellion and took us by storm, of weirdness but mere mortals can't be choosers.

Some might call if hubris to name them Titans nothing more than braggers tails, but when you saw them being littered with hundreds of arrows, buried under whole mountains, burned by wildfire, run over by mammoths and sustain all manner of blows that would kill regular men a hundred times over and emerge from that with nothing more than a few bruises and sooth on their skin at best you might reconsider your opinion.

The three where as followed:

Lord Ed of House Mono-brow, the Undefeated, his hose words are "Gravy!"

The strongest of the three he was a simple person, a close companion to the Stark's Hodor, he was famed for uprooting whole threes and houses from the soil, tossing them at his foes with the ease a child would a pebble, breaking whole mountain with his head, eating huge amounts of food and being a great chicken farmer and perhaps the only person the Hound liked.

A gentle soul who prefer books, plays and illustrations, he was always friendly with all despite his god like strength and was a favorite of many Lords and considered to this day the very pinnacle of knighthood, not only for his great strength that made whole armies surrender rather than facing him, but for his kindness, as he often treated everyone from the lowliest peasant to the greatest lord with kindness and friendship.  
A peerless individual, if you could only ignore the smell

The Second Titan was Lord Double D, the Smart, of House Sockhead, his house word was "Messy, messy, messy"

A maestar of maestars, he was known for creating the majority of wonders that the young of today see as normality.

He could take a simply bottle, steel strips and some magnets and make radios, create flying machines with cardboard and rubber band, build all manner of machines, steam engines, roads with nothing but his wits and tools.

Within a few years his machines turned us from mule drawn wagons and oil lamps, to steam engines and electric light bulbs.

The writings he left behind describe and show how to make even more advance technologies, detailing concepts like electronics, quantum physics, genetic modification.

Despite their clear and simple way of explaining it we still have trouble understanding, let alone applying the knowledge in the books left by him, for no one maestar or even all maestar could hope to match the Great Double D or for that matter understand what he was saying.

The third and final Titan was Lord Eddy, Silver tongue of House Scam, his house words are 'Only 25 cents'

A shrewd negotiator and orator, he was known for tricking lords out of their castles, bankers from their vaults and shopkeepers from their magazines.

The leader of the group, a most loudmouth and temper prone person, yet decent enough to be with, as long as you remembered to never buy what he was selling.

Despite their great talents none ever sought or owned and often refused lands, keeps, castles or daughters from other lords.

They kept their titles, but whenever the subject was brought up the leader lord Eddy always brought up the mythical city of legend that I theorize is what they where supposed to find while they where here.

I do not know or can imagine what wonders it contains, but the land of Snoresville truly must be a land of Gods.

No, these three spent their time traveling the seven kingdoms and beyond, building wonders, fighting enemy armies, solving unsolvable catastrophes and their only desired reward (besides money) was some candy, particularly a great sphere of sugar which they called Jawbreakers.

I never understood why they would treat simple sweets as if they where ambrosias, but considering the ambitions of other men and what their lust and desire often lead too i do not judge them to harshly.

And so they travelled by boat, balloon and a rather peculiar running poses across the land and with their passing things where never the same.

They where weirder than before but never the same.

For although the three where ready for this realm, Westeros, Esos and all of the lands where not ready for Ed, Edd n Eddy


	2. Chapter 2

**My best Edd's Wedding**

" _There were many episode of the genius of my beloved mentor and friend Lord Edward of Hous_ e _Sockhead, from the creation of the first intercontinental railway network, to the forming of the specialized maester profession of Doctor, the founding along with his other two peers of the Eight Kingdom of Westeros, the Stepstones, the most 'distinguished' moment of his life must have been a particular feast in the Winterfell."_

 _For after the first nonstop intercontinental ride of the railway system that started in the North, went around the other then 7 kingdoms and crownlands and finished in Winterfell, the successful venture was to be celebrated with a party where a most unexpected announcement was made."_

" _And although it might seem childish and undignified to say this, but I would have gladly many any sacrifice, even food to have witnessed it."_

 _Professor Samuel Tarly,_

 _2_ _nd_ _Dean of E.I.T (Edward Institute of Technology) and Chairman of the Professor Edward Decryption Department and Advance Research Comity._

280 A.C.

Winterfell courtyard.

"Hodor!"

"Gravy!"

"Hodor!"

"Gravy!"

"Hodor!"

"Eddy, I'm scarred!"

"Be glad that they can't breed with each other."

"I don't know whether that's worrying of exciting." A voice was heard behind the two Ed's and as they turned around, Double D did an immediate bow of the body and fleur of the arm in greeting to the person standing before them.

"My Lady Lyana, it is a great pleasure and honor that you graced us with your presence!"

"False words from all men, but coming from your mouth, I'd say that that is the only time I believe them Double D." Lyana said to the blushing Edward.

"Hey yer ladyship, how's it hanging? Hope the steam train we built doesn't have problem with its ticked prices."

"Nice try Eddy, but if I said that everything is fine I would be hearing complains of the outrageous prices within the hour."

"Can't blame a guy for trying!"

"No, but you can bring him to trail."

"Hey, there's nothing wrong with an honest day's scam!"

"Of course, just as there is nothing wrong with a honest night in a dungeon."

"Got me on that yer Ladyship, I also hear that congrats are in order."

"Yes, I am to be betrothed to the Lord of Storm's End Robert Baratheon."

"Best wishes to both of you, may you know many years of happiness my lady."

"Yes…..happiness." Lyana said sadly, despite trying to hide it.

"Is something troubling you my lady?" Edd asked.

"It's just, this is all so sudden and I…..I want to fight and ride and not do nothing all day but sow and raise his sons and…..."

"L-lady Stark, although it might seem inappropriate of me to say so, but things could always be worst, I mean you could be betrothed to a Frey!"

"Yeah, like what DD said or even worse."

"What could be worse than being betrothed to a Frey?"

"Two Frey's yer Ladyship."

A silence followed that statement.

"Gravy!"

"Hodor!"

Well for the most part, before the trio burst into laughter.

"The two of you are right, Ed is also right and Hodor as well, mean how can they not be right, since no one can prove them wrong." Lyana said cheerfully as she wiped the tears of laughter from her eyes.

"You see My lady, things might not be ideal, but they are far from worst."

"They call Eddy Silvertongue, but yours is not far from that either DD, you always knew what to say, do you remember what you said to me the day we first met?"

"Why of course my lady, as I was searching for a place to read some books I found you secretly practicing in the Godswood."

"And in my anger I shouted at you:" Lyana's mind went back to that day a few years ago, that seemed to have happened only a few moments ago in her heart.

" _Yes, I'm a girl and I want to be a knight, go ahead, laugh, sneer, do what you want" and what you said that day remained with me still."_

" _Laugh at you? For whatever for? Your ambitions is very commendable Lady Lyana! Why it's like what my dear mother always says: 'Anyone that doesn't want to be something more, isn't worth anything less than nothing!'._

" _Are- are you honest with me? Y-you're not lying, are you?!_

" _Me, deceive you my lady? Perish the thought! Why in my homeland a woman is expected to have dreams and ambitions and get a profession and earn her keep, there are many that do decide to do not work and focus their energy on raising children and looking after the house, but it is expected that before that they at least try to make something of themselves, a woman that doesn't even try, let alone succeed to accomplish something is one of the greatest taboos in our country! That is why my words are sincere and I wish you the greatest of fortunes in your endeavors!"_

" _Y-You would allow me to be a knight?"_

" _M-Me….allow? My lady in my land any man or woman can decide his or her own path in life, I have no saying in your future since it is your decision, yours and yours alone!"_

"I wish I was born in your lands my DD, it sounds like heaven on earth for those of the fairer half."

"Eh, our place is okay."

*DING*DING*DING*

"Ah! My alarm for the scheduled time to pickup from the printers of my copies of 'Legends and Myths of Essos Volumes I, II and III', has sounded! Forgive me My Lady, but it must depart to get them for our trip to Bravos!"

"Seriously bro? We're in a real life fantasy world and what gets you the most excited is reading a fantasy book? Double D that's so messed up that it makes Ed sound like the smart one of the group!"

"A worrying development that truly is!" Edd replied and the all turned to see that the big lump had decided to join their group.

"What happened with your Hodor Ed? Did someone finally win?"

"Nah Eddy, it's half time."

"…"

"Ya think that after a while the surprises stop coming out of his mouth, but then his lips start moving and….words fail me."

"True enough Eddy, now if you'll excuse me gentlemen, Lady Lyana, I must be going! Toddles !" He said and started walking away.

Lyana's gaze followed him longingly as he made his way around the corner towards Winterfell's first and biggest book store and print shops, that the Edd's also owned.

"50 Gold Dragons for the stuff, 100 more to be smuggled out." Eddy suddenly said, which caused Lyana to snap her head towards the Silvertongue, whose tongue was of green colour.

"What?"

"I heard you want to be a knight, I could hook you up with some gear and an exit route , but its gonna cost ya." Eddy replied and help up a jar with 25 cents marked on it.

"But….but my parents, the betrothal…..my father."

"Isn't the one getting married, though I suppose it's for the best, I mean a knight is suppose to be brave, little pipsqueaks than don't have the guts to even try walk out the door don't belong in a suit of armor."

"I'm no coward!" She said with great ferocity, one that reminded Edd of the heroine from the movie 'Baddas Shotgun Loving Dynamite Blonde Leather bound Nurses from Jupiter, part 8 : Chainsaw Prom's on Venus, the Reckoning!'

"Then prove me wrong." Eddy replied and jiggled the jar.

Lyana looked at him and at the jar and after what proved to be the most crucial and toughest decision of all, she made her choice.

"Very well I shall," she then walked away, leaving one get jumping up and down from her cool moves , another one silent from his empty jar and Hodor as Hodor.

"Hey! Do the baddas statement and walk away after paying your scam fines not before! Just because there's no internet doesn't mean you gotta follow Tv tropes!

"Hodor!"

"Ya got that right pall, can't live with them, can't scam'em."

"Hodor."

 **A few hour later, Winterfell main hall.**

The celebration had been going on for a few hours, in attendance where guests from the Stormlands, the North and all of the major houses of the realm.

Robert and Brandon where their usual selves, declaring love to Lyana and Catelyn one moment, afterwards slapping the serving wenches another, sometimes the two moment where the same, but this was Westeros and one found in a fanfic, so that was that.

"My Lords of the Realm, I thank you for attending this great feats and your kind offers of congratulations for my betrothal." Lyana suddenly said at one point and the half inebriated attendance, with the exception of Eddard and the three Ed's( who where only drinking tea and fruit juice)

"And I would like to extend my most gracious thanks to our three special guests, for the great service they have done to the realm with their steam machines and railroads!"

A mighty cheer went out from the nobility, for although the Eds where not lords or sers, they did bring them a tone of money from their devices.

"Than being said, with the occasion of my betrothal I feel duty bound to honor the Old Gods and the New, to ensure our continued peace and prosperity of ourselves, with that I ask permission from all to honor the Gods with this occasion."

A cheer of Aye and applause went around, Lyana looked to her father, who smiled approvingly, proud that his daughter seemed to have finally come to ser senses, which se did, but now how he expected.

Her eyes then lingered on DD, who raised his cup of orange juice to her and was quite at the look she gave him.

 _Please forgive me._

Her eyes seemed to beg.

"With that said, we must first honor the gods and settle a most urgent matter, for although Lord Robert holds the title of my betrothed, he must earn that by facing the other man who would claim my hand and be my husband, Eddard of House Sockhead."

Silence once more echoed throughout the room.

"What a surprising, yet on second reading totally foreshadowed twist it is!" Ed said before biting some butter toast.

Well for the most part silenced reigned as all eyes fell on DD who could have been mistaken for an ice sculpture from the way he had gone white and frozen with surprise from Lyana's announcement.

"HA! That puny man over there would fight me for yer hand? Why the rats of Storm's End are bigger than him!" Robert bellowed out and the other Lords laughed out, while Brandon and Eddard and Benjen all looked in shock at their sister, her father Rickard Stark had gotten over his shock and was becoming angry with his daughter.

"Why don't you put your money where yer mouth is Baratheon, and after that put it in my jar! Step right up! 1000 gold dragons say that DD can beat the tar out of him, harvest it, subcontract it, reimport it back and resell it at twice the price of what a native made product would!" Eddy said and waved his jar around.

"Ha! Alright ya three haired baldy I'll take the challenge! I would fight the Seven, the Old Gods and any other Gods for the love of the fierce Lyana" Robert bellowed out, the other lords agreed and most of them started placing bets on Robert.

Brandon, Ned, Benjen and her father Rickard all made their way to her, as an excited pandemonium erupted around them.

"Lyana what are you doing?" Rickard said, the anger in his voice made Lyana almost jump back in shock, but the words Ed, Edd and Eddy said to her earlier came back to her and gave her strength.

"What I've been trying to do since you announced that I would marry Robert, or where you purposely ignored me when I all but shouted to the heavens that I don't want to marry him?"

The fierceness of her daughters retort caught Rickard of guard, but the old wolf had been pack leader for a long time and he was quite used to the younger pups.

"Lyana your betrothed is a good man, from a great family, you'll bring honor and prosperity to both out houses by marrying him, I know he is not ideal child, but we have a duty to our people, to the North, to the realm itself, I myself married your mother because it was my duty, yet love bloomed between us, your brother is the same, child you too have a duty to fulfilled."

"Well The Realm, The North, Brandon or you are not the one's that'll have to spread yer legs and be fucked by the cock that fucked a thousand whores an hour!"

"Lya!" Brandon exclaimed as the four Stark men did a double take at her crudeness as blushes started to appear on their faces.

"And pissed whole seas of wine!" The wolf continued her attack, proving to the Old Wolf and the other three, that the she-wolf bite was far worse than her bark or theirs.

"But….but….look Lya I know that he doesn't seem like a good husband material now, but he's just doing what other unmarried men do." Ned said, recovering from his blush and started defending his friend, ignoring a small voice in his head that said otherwise.

"Then this his chance to start acting like my betrothed!".

"Fair enough sister, but even if ye weren't betrothed to Robert, DD is to far beneath you for such a match, he's not a lord, not even a Ser, he has no lands, no castle, no keep, he's just some merchant!"

"DD and his friends thousands of ships in a their great trading fleet, are the proprietors or have majority stock in every railroad, steel mill, factory, coffeehouse, merchant shop, printing press, road toal, rubber plant available. They have riches to rival the Lannisters and good to make the Tyrells jealous! If you think that that counts for nothing, that I dare you to challenge the Iron Bank and if you can tell me that it is so, then you win, but only if you can say that the Iron Bank is powerless to me and not lye will I admit defeat." Lyana challenged and as usual Robert stampeded his way into whatever argument he could and could not sniff.

"Ha! Prove my worth in combat, best idea I heard in my life, I love it! Almost as much as I love you my beloved!" Robert says and gazed at her with affection in his eyes, most other girls would melt under such gaze, but Lyana was a Stark and Winter is coming!

"I'm afraid calling me your beloved would be inappropriate considering the circumstances."

"HA! TUE TRUE! But don't worry my layd, I'll make mince meat out of that Bookworm in a minute and prove to all that only I am worthy of your love."

"Bold words Lord Robert, I suggest you back them up, after all one deed is worth a thousand words and I don't have the patience for that many" she walks away.

She's as harsh and unforgiving as a thunderstorm! Gods I love that woman!" Robert bellowed out and returned to finish off his wine.

"We should prepare for the fight" Ned said worried, he knew that Robert was a great warrior and DD was not, but he was very, very VERY tough, and even if the man hadn't used a sword in his life, it was hard to take lightly someone who had a great three land and break on their heads and walk about as if it was a leaf.

"Robert, I know he doesn't seem much but I'm telling you DD is not to be underestimated!"

"Brandon's right Robert, I seen him take blows that would break armored men, I seen him go thrown all kinds of things that would shatter castles and live, the Three of them are despite looking like mummer's clowns are as tough as Valyrian steel!"

"BWAHAHA! Valyrian steel? That shit head? More like a Valyrian rat! Look Ned, I can see that yer trying to help the little bugger not lose too much face, but honestly! And you Brandon why are you so worried? You had that duel with Littlefinger and your afraid of another worthless bloody bookworm?"

"Yeah, I'm afraid of him, cause Littlefinger isn't DD, and even if he's weak what about all of his machines? Did you see the iron giants that he built at White harbor to help with the loading and unloading of goods? Or what about the boom sticks which he used to blow about whole mountains? Robert if you face him with weapons, that he can use his own weapons and by the Old Gods and the New I tremble at what he could have done with a sword and armor when I think of those Giants and boom sticks?"

From that the mirth of Robert's face disappeared and as realization hit him, coupled with anger and a small tint of fear as he gazed at DD, who was shaken out of his stupor and talking to Lyana.

"I guess even little rat shits like him can be deadly poisonous. Don't worry Bran, Ned, if it's his sorcery yer worried bout, then I have an idea against that." He said and drained his cup.

"Please help me! I'm sorry for doing this behind your back, but I'd do anything not to marry Robert"

"But…I though you said out wanted to be a knight."

"Yes, but I doubt there's any other man who'll let me be myself…I.…I'm begging you, I'll do anything just, just …help me…." Tears started forming in Lyana's eyes and upon seeing them DD shock at what just happened disappeared and the only thing he could do was help a friend.

"A-allright, I'll help, but my Lady, If a champion is what you need, then why did you not nominate Ed as my champion to fight in my stead? He would have been a better match for Lord Baratheon."

At that Lyana blushed a little in realization that the man who regularly did not used the castle walls doors, but created new ones might have been more suited to face Robert.

"Sorry about that, guess I'm not as smart as I thought I am."

"Ah don't worry about it no one is as smart as that, except yours truly of course, but seriously yer Ladyness, DD I'll just whip up some fancy shmancy sciency thing and hey presto, venison stew!"

"The match will be held now as soon as we can all get ready and as challenger I invoke the right to chose the form of the duel and I choose bare knuckle boxing!" Robert shouted to those around and eyed DD and the other Eds and Lyana in particular.

Robert Baratheon might not be very bright, a fact which even he did not deny, but this was a fight and there wasn't a single soul in or out of Westeros that denied that when it came to fighting and war that Robert shined brighter than even the light of the Citadel.

"It would seem Eddy that your previous statement about intelligence was more accurate than you thought."

"Darn plot twist."

About half an hour latter a circle had formed around the dance floor of the feasting hall as both combatants where making their final preparations for the fight, and namely getting their fists wrapped in cotton and wool.

Robert might have bellowed out bare knuckle boxing, but the cooler head of Rickard prevailed, boxing like this was as dangerous for the winner as it was for the defeated, it would not do for Robert to half cripple his hands in the fight and despite being a jump start merchant and regardless of its outcome Rickard was not to keen on earning the permanent wrath of such a powerful and wealthy individual, since broken teeth have a tendency to do that.

"The match will continue until either one of the two forfeits or cannot get up from being knocked down, no blows below the belt, not biting or eye gashing, once your opponent is down, you stop and wait for him to get up or forfeit. Are the rules clear?" Ned said.

Both Robert and DD nodded in agreement and after that the fight began and both opponents started circling each other to the cheers of the gathered lords around them.

A mighty swing came forth from Robert, one that aroused a great cheer all around, only for it to connect not with DD face, but thin air as Eduard dodged the blow and the second, third and forth from Robert.

All those dreaded moments fleeing from the Kankers where coming in handy now, thought DD would be caught dirty before admitting that out loud!

"You're a fast little bugger ain't ya?"

"I am a pacifist Lord Robert and we pacifist to no start or continue fights." DD said as Robert charged him, only for DD to side step the stag and trip him as he went by."

"But we certainly end them!"

DD said to the astonished crowd who looked at a fallen Robert Baratheon and a smirking DD.

"Ya got guts, I'll give ya that." The Lord of Storm's End said as he raised himself from the floor.

"Let's see what they look like." He said and charged DD once more, learning from his mistake Robert paused at the last moment and unleashed a mighty barrage at Eduard.

DD was no fighter, but boxing was a mind game, and never in a thousand quantum equations was he one to fail to use his mind!

Using his hands in various defensive boxing poses he protected first his head, then his the vital areas body and torso from the blows, they still hit him in other places hard, but years of cars, houses falling on him and him falling off cliffs had made his weak body hard as iron.

The blows struck with the might of thunder, but he held.

As the barrage hit him hard he leaned against the circle of lord an used them to cushion the blows, using the Rope a Dope technique made famous by the likes of Muhammad Ali and other great boxers.

He dodged under another blow and once more tripped Robert who this time fell into the surrounding audience.

"I'll admit yer a lot tougher than at first glance." Robert said, gone was the dismissive tone of his voice, a new found respect for his opponent replaced him and an understanding that Ned and Brandon's words might have been true, despite his doubts.

"I survived Sarah for years; I'll survive this without much difficulty." DD said and although Robert did not know or could imagine what Hurricane Sarah was, the slight to his manliness by implying that there was someone else and a woman at that was enough to get his blood up and this time anger was what he struck with.

His blows once more landed true and once more DD used the audience to cushion the blows and tire Robert out, once more he dodged at the right moment and tripped his foe.

After the fifth time doing it Robert was out of breath and despite DD being even more out breath and starting to look like beef jerky, he held himself strong and from his posture you could tell that the fight was now tipped in his balance and the longer it took the more the balance would continue in his favor.

Sensing this Robert started to calm down and decided to go on the defensive, he could smell a trap as easily as he could a whorehouse and he was not going to fall into this one.

DD observe this and despite himself he could not admire how Robert seem to be born for battle.

" _Well mr Baratheon you are giant amongst men, for that I salute you"_

DD thought and quickly moved to a very dangerous, but a potentially very high reward strategy:

"Forgive me Lord Robert, but you said that we would fight for the Lady Lyana's favor, might I enquire as to when we will start fighting for real?"

Thought not a very sane one.

At this the cheers of the nobles stopped and once more silenced reigned, Robert stared at the young scholar in shock and with a mighty war cry he charged out in full fury!

' _He's a puny little man that needs to be crushed' that's what you think about me, about most people._

Gone was his new found strategy, wisdom, coherent thought, all he saw was red!

He charged on and struck with such fury that the crowd behind Edd that he was using was also pushed back, the whole side of that circle felt Robert's might as the Stag lived up to his houses motto.

'Ours is the fury!' and now all of it was unleashed at DD.

 _There was another giant who thought so to, when he met a little man._

Thunderbolt after thunderbolt struck true at DD, it seemed like an endless storm of might that would continue on forever, until it started dying down as Robert's stamina started to be depleted by Edd's strategy.

 _But the man names was Jack and so is my father's name and guess what Lord Baratheon!_

Robert back down, away from the battered DD, his face and body looked like a war zone, his eyes blazed with that of someone who would survive as he held out his hand and beckoned the Stag to continue!

 _He taught me everything I know!_

At this Robert once more tried to strike him and did manage to get a few blows in, before what was left of his stamina was finally depleted.

Sensing this opportunity DD now went on the offensive.

But he was not a violent person and as his hand struck true, going trough Robert's defensives, it reached a certain point on his neck where applying the right amount of pressure, inspired from a classic SF series and perfect by a cartoon con man the Vulcan neck pinch struck the Lord of Storm's End true and the mighty Stag fell down.

Silenced fell on the room once more as astonished onlookers saw what could only be considered the second founding of Storms End, for the mighty lord of Thunder and might's rage smashed against the scrawny but strong walls of DD.

And after a few moments in which it was clear that Robert was down for the count and out DD broke the silence.

"As I said before, I'm a pacifist and we do not start or continue fights, but we certainly end them." Battered, bruised and bloody DD stood triumphant, now glad that the pain was now over.

"DD!"

Thought as all times of peace it would not last, for Lyana, Eddy and Edd all engulfed him in a hug!

"You won!"

"We're rich! We'll richer!"

"That was so cool, you where just like Captain Bananaramaka when he faced the giant Pencil Sloud Lord of Garon 5, in the season two finally of Zombie Samurai of Grup-Nosha! The miniseries!"

"Wait! WAIT!" Robert shouted as he came too and with a little help from Ned and Brandon he raised himself back on his feet.

"I won't accept it, he has nothing to offer daughter of a Lord Paramount, he's just some money grubbing merchant, what kind of life can he provide for her!" Robert exclaimed to those around him and a great many number of them expressed their agreement, a great many also abstained, after all it wasn't a very good idea to go up against someone who could take down Robert Baratheon.

"Well I do have some money saved up, rest assured Lord Stark that your daughter's financial future is not in question" DD stepped up to the challenge, he figured that this wouldn't lead to a real marriage, but he had to help his dear friend Lyana.

"How much can a worthless cock like you have? You have no lands, no castle, you don't even have a keep! What puny fortune do you have ya shit?"

"Um, well my personal fortune not counting our companies budget funds and the liquid value of my part of our assets is currently 10.123.456 dragons and 32 copper pennies." Edd said as a matter of fact.

Robert did not hit the floor again, but his mouth certainly did, for even without a keep or castle DD, the shithead had a shitload of money, maybe even enough for manure!

"W-what, you telling us you have 10.000.000 dragons!"

"And 123.456 and 32 copper pennies."

The surrounding Lords where all stunned, that was more money that what the Iron bank could provide, even Rickard, Benjen, Ned and Brandon and where seeing their potential good-brother and good-son in a new light, perhaps this could be a worthy match.

"But…..but…..my lady I beg of you do not go with him, his money is worthless, coin comes and goes! What land does he have? What castles does he own? He's a worthless peasant with no family, no heritage! My ancestors where the Storm kings, you would be lady of Storms End and of my heart, what could he possibly offer you that I would not give ten times over?"

"Would you let be a knight?"

"W-What?"

"Would you let me ride with you into war, fight alongside you in battle? Would you let me lead the knight and men at arms?

"My….my love, I …..I would give you….."

"That is all the answer I need from you Lord Baratheon. Edward, would you let me be a knight?"

"Me? Well, it's not up to me, I mean it's your life, so be what you want to be, that's what my parents always said." DD replied on the spot.

"You see Lord Robert, that's what he can provide for me!"

"There's nothing you can give me, for I do not want something that is not yours to give, my life is my own to do as I please, that is the most precious thing to me and you who so boldly declared himself to be my beloved, didn't even know or cared about my most burning desire. He knows, he understands, he cares, and that is why he is my chosen and not you!"

And the Lyana went and kissed him on the cheek, a blushing DD was surprised and he looked at Lyana is surprised, before a great kiss on the mouth from her stunned him speechless.

"Come now darling, lets discuss our wedding" Lyana said as she lead a still brainless Edd out the room, followed by Ed and Eddy, leaving behind a group of nobles who where currently doing great fish mouths impersonations and heartbroken and confused Robert.

"Well with this, there's only one thing left to do to make this a Kodak moment, right mono-brow?"

"Right as a rumba Eddy!"

"Then Ed. Let's do this!3"

"2."

"1"

"Double D's got a girlfriend!"

"Double D's got a girlfriend!"

Ed and Eddy sing songed while clapping their hands.

"No, no, no boys, you have it all wrong! Double D's got a wifey, Double D got a wifey!" Lyana said and the two Ed's immediately joined their lead, the third Ed in question was still searching for his brain.

"Old gods and new help us, she's already one of them!" Brandon said as he, Rickard, Ned and Benjen exited the hall and looked at the new couple in the distance.

"What was just unleashed on the Realm?" Benjen asked.

"The Realms first non arranged marriage it would seem." Ned deadpanned.

"At least we got to be stinking rich out of this." Rickard said and that was all.

***************************************************************

My other story.

BALADA: A Symphony of Eternity

A space opera with magic instead of technology

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	3. Chapter 3

**The short Edd-omake! Part I: Fists of Moderate Rage!**

"Guys do you know what this means?" Eddy asked his partners in crime.

"We've just unintentionally become the first human beings to travel outside of our own solar system!" DD said excitedly.

"That Englishmen people are aliens and have travelled to other worlds using only tea and crumpets!"

"No guys! Although what Ed said would explain the whole boiled mint sauce pork and haggis things; What this means is that there's an entire world of sucker out there!"

"My word! You can't meant to take advantage of their primitive e society! Are we not a civilized people Eddy?

"Of course were civilized people!"

"A civilized people that lies and steal from other less fortunate natives."

"Is there any other kind?"


End file.
